Simple words, spoken in a nonchalant tone, and in another's context:

"Breakups happen. They're part of the territory of dating."

I'm sure it was more eloquently said. I seem to have trouble remembering exact words people say - the emotional imprint received is what registers, and the rest just falls away. And the emotional imprint here was huge, unbeknownst to the speaker.

Sure, everyone knows that breakups happen. But when you're struggling with letting go, with "breakups don't happen to me", with total denial that sometimes things just aren't meant to be, suddenly it is forgotten that duh, of course it's natural.

Wake up, Caroline, you fool. You can't love someone when they're too scared to receive your brand o' lovin' ... and can't / won't / shouldn't love you back.

The weather just got really cold tonight (57F or 13degC). Or maybe I was freezing from the inner chill that I seem to enjoying torturing myself with.

At the request of my bro (I give him credit for educating me on why I should care about the Astros), I headed out yesterday in search of official Houston Astros NLCS gear. Man, there was a line outside the store just to get in, which became a mob inside the store as soon as stuff was in sight, and by the time I got there they'd run out of adult size shirts. The shirts are ugly, in my opinion. The only thing that made the trip worth it was seeing this adorable little kid whose brother had already managed to score a cap for him. I'll go back next week when all the hoopla has died down.

Tonight Ivonne and I headed over to help Annie with painting their new Montessori school. I wanted to have some music while working, so I brought my CD boombox, which turned out to be welcome entertainment. I have a happy mix CD of early 90s stuff that everyone seemed to like. I think those songs probably elicited a memory or two of a simpler time ... [ me and Ivonne on tape prep ] [ Annie 'n Jerry goofing around ] [ Stella and Ivonne on a well-deserved pizza break ]

Quotes from my "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff" daily quotes calendar:

"Remember that if you don't make a decision (or continue to procrastinate in making a decision), that is a decision. It's a choice you're making to not take any action - which usually means that you lose some control over what happens."

"So often, instead of being open and accepting of whatever we are experiencing, we resist it, push it away, and demand that it be different. But like fighting the weather, it's a losing battle."

"When it comes to change, we are always faced with the same choice - embrace or suffer."

And of course, I have chosen to procrastinate, resist, and suffer.

A friend just invited me to participate in The Tour de Doughnut - "The Sweetest Bike Ride in Texas!". Hahahah.

From the website:
"The Tour de Doughnut is a unique bicycle race where riders embark on an appetizing 28-mile journey beginning at the Katy Mills Mall with rest stops along the way serving as many delectable doughnuts as you can eat.

For EACH tasty donut that a rider consumes, the rider is awarded a tempting 5-minute time credit.

Eat enough delicious doughnuts, and you can finish the race before you even started!"

So, being the nerd I am, I broke out the spreadsheet and calculated how many doughnuts I'd have to eat to make my bike ride come out to zero minutes, going by my 5min/km rate that I was going at while riding all the time in China.

I would only have to eat 45 doughnuts for my 28-mile journey to come out to zero minutes.

...

As much as I like Krispy Kreme doughnuts, I'm gonna have to give a big EWWWW to that.

Today I learned ...

how to leash-train the doggies. Man, Happy's stubbornness rivals my own.

that Angie is a kick-ass doggie trainer. Oh wait, I already knew that. [ firm words ] [ whoa, she got him to heel! ]

that the Houston Astros were playing.

that the Houston Astros have never gone to the World Series before.

that they need one more game to go to the World Series. I finally began to understand why the 'Stros was such a big deal ... it's always good to have a bro who like, knows sports 'n stuff ...

that there is an Asian dude on the Cardinals team.

that despite cheering for the Astros (and being disappointed in their loss), I want to bear Albert Pujol's children. That guy is sexy. (Looked better on TV, anyway ...)

to play three-quarters of "More Than Words" on the guitar half-decently, with singing!

that standing up to my mom when it comes to touchy issues is exactly what I need to continue doing. I finally did that for the first time today, and ... it felt right.

Dude. Hallowe'en parade with prizes (thanks Angie for the tip!). Gotta start thinkin' about a cool costume that won't break the bank. Hmmmmmmm.

Yo, where my geeksquad at? :) I want to upgrade my notebook's internal CD-RW/DVD drive to an internal DVD/CD writer, and after googling 'til my eyes went googly, I still couldn't find the answers to my questions. It is driving me crazy! Any input from you guys would be appreciated!

Important consideration: I really don't want an external burner on my notebook, because my notebook (an HP Pavilion ze5375us, part of the ze5300 family) is already a monster, weighing in at a hefty 7.25 lbs.

What I've found so far: I've downloaded a free service manual that tells me how to dismantle my beloved 'puter. I apparently have to go in through the keyboard to get to the CD-RW/DVD drive and remove it. I am ready to do it. I'm sure that this thing is so old it's not under warranty anymore anyway.

The manual also says the internal optical drive is "not replaceable" by non-qualified service technicians. I say this is rubbish! C'mon, how hard can it be ...

Elusive information: There is no info anywhere as to what to look for in a drive / notebook to ensure compatibility. There are no authoritative lists.

Initial hypotheses, from the mind of a geek-wannabe: Well, I figured the dimensions of the new drive should be the same as my current drive, and that the interfaces should be the same.

So, I've gotten interested in the Pioneer DVR-K15. My current drive is the Toshiba SD-R2312. Here are the specs that I surmise to be the crucial ones:

spec	Toshiba SD-R2312 (current)	Pioneer DVR-K15 (coveted)
WxHxD	128 x 12.7 x 126.1 mm	128 x 12.7 x 127mm
Interface	ANSI X3T13/D96153 Rev. 18 ATAPI SFF8020i Rev. 2.6 ATAPI SFF8090 Ver. 5 Rev. 1.10	ATAPI ATA-5 (PIO Mode4, Multiword DMA Mode2, Ultra-DMA Mode2)

My burning questions:
1) Is the size difference significant?
2) I have no idea what those interfaces mean. Are they the same? Or totally different?
3) Am I anywhere near being on the right track?

Again, I would be grateful for any input / personal experience!!

Last night was the first time I hosted my colleagues. Another first was having kids over, three of them, aged 9 through 11 (cuties, all). Since I was entertaining my colleagues, I wasn't able to keep an eye on their kids at all times. I learned some valuable lessons:

1) Don't ever let kids into the elevator without prior instruction. (Yes, there is an elevator in this house.)
2) The password protection on my computer turned out to be a really good idea.
3) Don't ever leave hot peppers laying around.

At least I had Robots on DVD so they sat somewhat still for like an hour and a half.

I'm sure it didn't help that one of the little boys seems to have a crush on me. According to past experience (as a much older girl with little boys crushing on me), little boys like to show they like you by doing annoying things to get attention. (Perhaps akin to Flying Pear's sock-sniffing kid?)

I was afraid my BBQ'd veggie-kabobs wouldn't be enough, but we ended up having WAY more than enough. On the menu: layered chip dip (courtesy of Boy), stir-fried wide slippery noodles (cooked by colleague's hubby!), tofu in spicy sauce, and carrot cake for dessert. Almost everything was vegetarian (just a portion of slippery noodles was not), and every last bite was delicious. Mm mm good.

Aside from 5 hours of house cleaning and food prep, mingling with my colleagues in a casual environment was pretty enjoyable [group shot]. Of course, it helps that no one got hurt / got permanently stuck in the elevator / had spontaneous burning diarrhea / installed random stuff on my computer ...

I will be better prepared next time kids come over to the house.

Oh, and valuable lesson #4, unrelated to kids:
4) I don't need no can opener to open cans! (Well, I had one, but don't know how to use it.)

(See my 9/29/05 post)

I bought the package of 5 massages, and I only have one more left! Call / e-mail me if you want it! You'd be doing my friend Thi a favor while indulging in 1.5 hours of relaxation for $36!

If there's enough demand, it'd be no problem for me to get another package to satisfy all of our massage-at-a-killer-deal needs. (No, I am not making any money off of this.) So just lemme know, people! Oh, and psst - massage definitely goes good with acupuncture too.

Update: massage package all gone. Thanks, guys!

It really annoys me when people can't just tell me straight up that they don't want to do something with me. I know it most likely isn't personal, so just say so. It saves me the trouble of continuously asking, and I'll know to never ask again.

Must be an Asian thing.

I need to get me a snack. I'm getting crabby.

I am like, SUCH a nerd. I was so so curious, so I bought their DIY LCD Video Projector guide (I have to wonder how many have forked over the $20 out of pure curiosity as well!). I'll let you all know if / when the project materializes. I only have basic skills at best from junior high shop class, so I wonder if they're sufficient. I *could* just get Home Depot to do all the dirty work, but being the proud little girl that I am (not to mention cheap), the project would be much more fulfilling if I get down in there and put my sweat and [hopefully not] blood into every aspect of the project. (Hmm, I suppose this also shows how I'm a control freak and anal. Ah well.)

The homemade projector ends up looking like a big ugly box. The only things that comfort me is that it'll be functional and relatively inexpensive, and that Hello Kitty stickers CAN be purchased to help remedy the ugly factor.