Scene: at an herbal shop here in Taiwan, telling the shop owner what herbs I wanted to make a formula for a friend. I was there with Annie, who translated for me the herbal shop owner's Taiwanese. (I only know Mandarin Chinese.)

Herbal Shop Owner (HSO) (looking over the list of herbs): OK. Please write down your name and number here for accounting purposes.
Me (a little hesitant): Uh, OK.
HSO (looking me over): I have a nephew who lives in Tennessee who is looking for a wife. You're speaking English with your friend here ... you're from the States, right? How old are you?
Me (shocked and unable to respond properly): Err ... I'm 28 ... and um ... well, I live in Texas, and Tennessee is rather far from Texas, sir.
HSO: But it's in the United States, and that's where he is.
Me: Well, the United States is pretty big, sir - see, if this is the U.S. (drawing a big circle in the air), then Tennessee is here, and Texas is here.
HSO: Ah ... so it's like mainland China?
Me: Yes, sort of like that, yes sir.
HSO: Well, he's looking for a girl who's tall and skinny like you.
Me: Uh, well, uh, haha, well sir, I know I'm kinda skinny, but I'm definitely not tall.
HSO: Sure you are! You're taller than I am! (He steps around the counter to stand beside me, and indeed I am taller than him by like 1 cm.) My nephew is like 10 cm taller than me. And he's a [insert profession here, I can't remember what it was]. He is having a hard time finding a girlfriend over there.
Me (just trying to think of things to say ... and just wanting my herbs so I can get out of here!): Oh well sir, um, I'm glad you think I'm worthy. (What the hell was I thinking?!)
HSO: You guys would be great together. I can give you his contact information, and you two can be friends.
Me: Oh, no thank you sir, that's okay. Well, thanks for the herbs (FINALLY!!), bye!
HSO (as we're literally running out the door, shouting after us): Hey!! He makes 400,000 a month!!!