OMG OMG OMG. So I was getting in my car to drive to work today. I had parked under a tree last night, and saw some bird poop on my car. I'd just washed my car Monday, so I was a bit pissed, but whatever. But when I got in my car to leave for work, I realized with sheer, pure and utter horror that ...

THERE WAS A F###ING DEAD BIRD ON MY WINDSHIELD.

"OMG OMG OMG that is GRODY," I thought. I had to go to work right then, I didn't have time to deal with it right that moment ... I thought, "I'll just drive to work and the bird will just fall off I guess. I am so so so sorry Mr. Bird!" So off I drove. Whereupon I realized with sheer, pure and utter horror that ...

THE F###ING DEAD BIRD WAS STUCK IN MY WINDSHIELD WIPERS.

OMG OMG OMG that is DISGUSTING, I thought. And as I drove, I realized just how stuck it was. It was so stuck that not only was it not falling off, but ... the leg of the bird would swing back and forth, as if WAVING to me. OMG OMG OMG GROSS!!

Got to work (almost crying at this awful sight the whole way, I couldn't help it ... oh and I forgot to mention, there were BLOODY GUTS smeared on my windshield but I couldn't use my wipers!!) and stepped out to briefly survey what the HECK was going on. And to my sheer, pure and utter horror, I saw that ...

IT WAS A HEADLESS BIRD STUCK IN MY WINDSHIELD WIPERS. AND ITS BLOODY DECAPITATED BEAK WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE BESIDE IT!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I had to ask my co-worker if he could help me remove the poor bird (and beak, and bloody guts) from my windshield and wipers. Turns out it was like HALF A BIRD (I DUNNO WHERE THE REST OF IT WENT!!). WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!?1?1!! GRODY TO THE MAX YO!!!!!!

I was so grossed out I couldn't even take pictures like I usually would, OMG!!!! Yes I know, I'm such a girl!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! @_@